When Life Gives You Vampires

August 1, 2022
Duke’s lackluster debut uses modern vampire tropes to overlay a bland contemporary romance with unsubtle and poorly executed messaging about body positivity. Plus-size Lily Baines’s flirty encounter with gorgeous, romance-writing vampire Tristan Newberry ends with him unintentionally turning her into a vampire, an unsanctioned action that puts them both in hot water with the Vampire Council. Lily leans on her “vampire geek” best friend, Cat—who’s obsessed with Twilight and who hooks Lily up with blood bank leftovers—while resenting Tristan’s tight-lipped, old-fashioned overprotectiveness and despairing over the fact that, now that she’s undead, losing weight is no longer an option, all while hiding her vampire status from her diet-obsessed mother. As the Council’s threats increase, Lily falls for Tristan even while pushing him to let her be more in charge of her own destiny. Despite being centuries old, Duke’s vampires behave like immature, overdramatic 20-somethings, and Tristan’s behavior comes across more 1950s misogynist than 1800s gentleman. Meanwhile, Lily’s revelation that being fat forever is okay feels disappointingly grounded in Tristan’s attraction to her, leaving the body positive message a little anemic. This is one to skip. Agent: Maria Napolitano, Bookcase Literary.